The gun show has been open for just over 24 hours so far and here’s all the tales of sale I’ve put together. Plus, everyone calling me a gigantic prick and huge asshole – gets to hear about how I’m really being a huge asshole!
Lets change it up with a riddle!
*How many 4473’s were filled out correctly by the customers the first time? Answer in percentage only.*
So y’all heard all the dumbass shit I had to listen to yesterday. Here’s the business side of the show.
Snagged me a cheap 9mm pistol for $150, I think I can turn it for $300 maybe even $325. Maybe $365 or $375 if I throw in some fresh hollowpoint 9mm.
Sold a smith to a firefighter from down in southern louisiana. He’s got the perfect first name. Lew. Not Lewis. Not Louis. Lew. I tell him he must be really eager for promotion. He tells me he’s not taking the captain exam because he likes being called by his first name too much. It’s his first gun. I sell him gun and box of ammo for $500. It’s my first sale of the day.
My next sale is a used PD trade in Glock. The guy is from Chicago and has an Illinois DL and FOID. I explain to him I need more than that and he tells me he bought a second vacation home/hunting cabin. I ask if he’s got the paperwork. He pulls out of his back pocket a ziploc freezer bag FULL of documents. Electric bill, property tax, cable, internet. all that. I check it all out and write him up on a used PD trade in Glock for $725.
My third sale is a fella who comes over with his wife. She’s shopping for a new gun. I write her up and get her handled. It’s super easy and she’s very nice.
Lenny from the poker game on monday came by the show looking for some deals. He finds an old remington 700 with a douglas barrel in 243 with gorgeous wood someone is selling. Price is $2800. Ouch. I tell him to treat himself. He laughs. He sits down and we tell stories. He tells me that I shouldn’t have been that aggressive at poker night on monday. I tell him he’s just sore from being busted out on an all in call off me, TWICE IN ONE NIGHT. We laugh.
Guy walks up asking for 5.7 ammo.
FC: How much you got?
1: I got a hund….I mean I got.
FC: Here’s a box, I already know you got $100. $85.
About 15 minutes later I sell the other box at $85.
It’s not a bad show. I’ve made some money and had some fun.
Now, in the other thread everyone was saying I’m a fucking asshole, cockbag, price gouging cocksucker, fudd, you name the insult it was said. And of course my witty rejoinder is you’ll fucking know when I’m being an asshole.
Here’s the story about me being an asshole!
If you don’t want to read it, I understand.
Last show this Karen comes by and wants me to knock $50 off a $350 sale, turning my gross margin from $62 to $12.
I tell her if she can fill this form out correctly the first time it’s a done deal at $300. If there’s a mistake, it’s $350. Her man *assures* me she buys guns all the time and she’ll get everything right. Well, she does not. I tell her $350. She screams at me calling her man who comes back and they throw a temper tantrum about it. The guy has the audacity to tell me “What is this some type of carnival game? You’re booking action on whether she can fill a form out ?”
Me: Yeah. I do this all the time.
Gun show employee: He does this all the time.
Finally, I’m like you know what? I’m not listening to them sit here and call me a liar. I know I’m right. $300 cash and the rifle is gone, I make $12 and this fucking day is over.
That was the last show.
A dealer comes over to me at this show.
1: Hey man
1: My friend Karen came by and got a 10/22 from you at the last show………
FC: I don’t even want to think about it
1: Yeah I heard there was a big thing…….
FC: She and her bald headed enabler called me a liar in front of everyone and I had to call security.
1: Yeah well. She didn’t get a receipt. Can you write her a receipt for me? You’d be doing me a favor.
FC: It sounds like you want me to do you a favor. You’ve never done me a favor in the past.
1: Come on man…..
FC: She want’s me to write her a reciept?
1: Yeah. You don’t have to be a jerk about it.
FC: Tell her to see me at the next show with her gun.
1: Alright, thanks I knew we could get it resolved.
FC: Tell her it’ll be 50 bucks.
1: You’re an asshole.
FC: If she wanted a receipt, she should have thought about that before she threw a tantrum, welched on the bet and called me a liar in front of everybody.
1: You don’t have to do this.
FC: I didn’t have to sell her the gun at $300. She’s burnt all her favors. This discussion is over.
You all wanted to call me a gigantic prick and a condescending righteous gun dealer?
Now you can do it.
By the way, on the 4473’s? 100% of them were correct the first time. Because the buyers I get are able to read and follow instructions.